#it is okay to be criticized on my essays because never in my life have I loved an essay. criticized on my vase

[chiropteracupola]

you know, I sometimes have my little joke to myself that I ought to have been an art major, but given the things that former teachers and profs have said to me in my (fairly limited) experience with real-deal studio art classes, I would not have been cut out for it.

or then again perhaps the problem is that we should not torture our students and say terrible things to them about their work!

[hiraethminds]

This is a tangent, I'm here to entertain with needless rambling

The deep rooted hatred for taco I see in the II community genuinely concerns me. Especially since those people tend to be Mephone "apologists"(For lack of a better word, I love Mephone don't get me wrong) despite how taco is the "active" side of the coin to his "passive". The connections between them are there trust me Im connecting the dots. Ive connected them.

I understand that she's done bad things, but blaming her for her shortcomings when she doesn't and never had the same support group to change as Mephone did makes me a little ehh.. Getting upset because Microphone showed her support in the new episodes simply because you don't like the ship(I understand why people wouldnt but thats not an excuse to deny her anything), and because Taco doesn't know how to change yet and you refuse to see her as anything redeemable. I'm not big on shipping, thats not the point of this tangent, but Taco finally having someone to support her and help her change is a GOOD thing. Microphone was being the bigger person there, she was being mature and thoughtful because Taco clearly needs the help. The fact that people continue to deny Taco any kind of growth even if she goes about it in the wrong way makes me deeply uncomfortable. Because the moment any character does anything bad that isn't HER they don't say anything about it. She was shunned by her peers because she was playing the game and continued to 'play the game' so to speak.

Theres a deep rooted hint of misogyny in the way they treat her, but I wont yap about that you dont need to read allat.

I understand people have reasons for not liking characters! That's ok. But I've seen them actively go out of their way to harass people that DO like Taco and actively criticize enjoying her character.

They tend to take it as defending her actions. Which is not what's happening. I don't think oscommunity could handle vriska is all I'm saying.

Feel free to not answer this I just need whatever little imp is telling me to scream about it to get out. go draw a taco dis is driving me crazy

Thank you for dumping this in my inbox bigbarf200, I feel like a wise confidant.

okay so I don't interact/observe with the wider ii community (Mainly cuz i like playing with my touys without being bothered) So this information is so Interesting to me!!!

As you mentioned, the hate might stem from misogyny (and by the way, I’d love to read your essay—talk all you want, my friend!). This is a societal issue that affects every part of life.

That said, I also think some people might dislike her simply because she’s a hustler and stubborn. When she has a goal, she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it, even if it means crossing into morally gray areas.

holding Mepad hostage > hijacking the show

lying and deceiving objects with good intentions > winning s1

seriously hurting Fan > winning Mic immunity

as you said in the greater scheme of things, she's genuinely done horrible things. But if you just accept that at face value you are missing out on such an amazing character. You have to consider her perspective and the circumstances of her birth (especially in a story like ii!!) to fully understand and come to an option on her. But I digress this is baby level analysis so ill move on.

people who think Mic being friendly towards Taco post e14 is out of character are misunderstanding Microphone as both a character and thematic device I think

that's literally the only rational reason I could think of as to why people would be mad about taco and mic being on good terms???

so yeah, these haters just sound like crazy irrational people who have a lot of pent-up emotions. crazy

anyways ty!!! I feel like I didn't have alot to add since, as stated, these people are just incredibly irrational. but its nice getting an earful of whagh the fuck the community is like. here are soem taco drawings for the occasion

[heyftinally]

April 30th is the Day of the Homeschooled Child

I was one of the 1.7 million children homeschooled in the USA.

I am also one of Homeschool's Invisible Children.

I was heavily restricted at home - I was barred from nearly everything that my peers were connecting with. I had incredibly limited access to movies and TV, even more restricted internet access, and was even barred from many of the same toys my peers played with. This on top of my academic isolation made socializing very hard.

I didn't relate to my peers socially.

Children younger than me were more academically advanced than me.

I was socially unaware, and frequently missed jokes or made faux pas comments because I didn't understand how to interact with peers.

My ADHD went untreated my entire childhood.

And the issues were not only social. Despite living in a state that boasted some of the most rigorous checks for homeschooled students, I was missed. My portfolios every year were falsified - much of what they claimed I had learned I had little to no understanding of.

By the time I graduated high school "with honors" (that I did not earn and were entirely false), this is a brief list of some of my academic failings:

I had never written an essay, and did not know how

I did not know how to do a critical analysis of a piece of text or media

I was incapable of math above a 4th/5th grade level

I could not tell time on an analog clock

I could not identify more than ~5 states on a map of the United States

I could not identify more than ~5 countries on a map of the world/globe

I could not spell above a ~6th grade level

I did not know that there was proof of life on earth prior to dinosaurs

I did not know that the lymphatic system was real

And so much more.

I entered college woefully unequipped for both the academic and socal demands that were placed on me. At 18, I was closer to as 14 year old, social/emotionally. Academically I was much worse.

I had to work three times as hard as my peers to achieve the same results, battled my still-undiagnosed ADHD as well as my academic and social neglect.

I didn't fully know who I even was as a person, due to spending so many years being expected to fit a specific ideal that was enforced upon me 24/7 through the isolation of homeschooling.

This April 30th, I'm wearing green for Homeschool's Invisible Children - for children like me.

If you are a child experiencing homeschool neglect, please know that you are not alone. There are resources available to you, and your future is not doomed just because your guardians failed to educate you. I'm listing some resources below that may be of help to you.

Homeschool alumni/survivors who resonate with this story: we deserved better. We deserved education. We deserved freedom. It's okay if you're angry at your past. It's okay if you're grieving the life you might have had without homeschooling. It's okay if you're conflicted. I hope you're able to find closure and healing in whatever form that means for you.

And, because I know it unfortunately needs to be said, if you're an ex-homeschooler or a homeschool parent who feels the need to jump on this post and defend yourself, I need you to step back, sit down, delete your comment, and sit with why you feel so attacked by our truth.

This is not a personal attack on you - this is abuse survivors speaking up to prevent further abuse. It is not your place to tell us we should be silent.

"But homeschoolers test better and are more successful!" I'm sure you're dying to say. To wave your statistics at me.

And you would be wrong. Because here's the problem with those statistics.

Let's pretend we have ten homeschooled children and ten public schooled children.

All ten of the public schooled children take a school assessment. Because some excel at different things than others, the public school students average out to an 85.

Only four of the homeschooled children take the assessment. Of the other six, one is traveling with their family during the assessment, two are not permitted because their parents know they aren't up to grade level and fear backlash or judgement, two are mentally or physically disabled and so their parents don't feel the test will adequately display their knowledge, and the last hasn't received any kind of education in years because their parents keep them at home either doing chores, working a job, caring for siblings, or they are simply neglected and spend all day hungry and scared.

Of the four homeschooled children that do take the assessment, they do quite well, as their parents knew/suspected they would. Their average score is a 98.

A 98 is better than an 85, yes. But just because 4 out of 6 homeschooled children were above the public school average does not mean homeschooling is automatically better. If you tested the top four public school students, they might very well score a 98 as well.

However, if you included those other six homeschooled students, the average homeschool score would very likely be something closer to a 45.

So when we talk about Homeschool's Invisible Children, we're talking about those six that never got the chance to take an assessment. Those six who never had a chance to tell a teacher "I'm ten and I don't know how to read". Those six who may not even realize how far behind their peers they are. Those six who deserved to have access to supports so that they could learn in ways that actually met their needs.

So while your statistics look good on paper, they are not honest. They do not present the full picture of homeschooling. Listen to the homeschool survivors who were one of those six kids who never got to make their voices heard. We have a voice now - don't try and take it from us.

Resources for current homeschool students and alumni:

Khan Academy - basically free online self paced K-12 classes. They have fantastic explanation videos for the lessons, you can review them whenever you want, and you don't have to stay in the same grade level for every subject - great if you're trying to catch up and you're in 6th grad for English but 2nd for math. They have courses besides just core classes (math/english/science/etc), too! They run on donations, but it's completely free to use. Also, this site is used in my local public school system to supplement the existing curriculum, so it's not just for homeschoolers!

Coalition for Responsible Home Education - actively fighting for more oversight and restrictions on homeschooling in the USA. They mostly do awareness and advocacy, but they also have resources on their site for things like what to do if you don't have a high school transcript. They run on donations, but the information is freely available.

Probably the most famous resource on this list. Videos that give you a "crash course" (aka a condensed overview) of a wide variety of topics. These are best used as supplement to more structured lessons like Khan Academy, but they have a lot of merit on their own if they're all you can manage. Knowing a bit about something is better than knowing nothing about it!

[fandoms--fluff]

Could you write a Josie Saltzman with fem reader where they’re working on a project but readers struggling with the assignment because they have dyslexia

Dead Beat Essays

Female witch reader x Josie Saltzman

Warnings: talk of dyslexia

A/n: this is the first time I wrote a fic like this, so I'm open to any constructive criticism

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"you good there, babe?" Josie looks across the table to you.

You look up at your best friend, a frown edged on your face. "Nothing, I'm just apparently stupid," You say, stress clear in your voice. You go back to reading the instructions for the essay you need to write for the Aztec witchcraft class you are taking.

All the paragraphs on the page have different sizes and font lettering. It's all getting jumbled in your mind while trying to read it. There are also little points in a really tiny font that just mess you up more than it has before you notice, not knowing what points they're defining.

"Hey, don't overwork yourself. Can I take a look at it?" She asks you.

You nod and hand the sheet of paper over to her. She reads it over, making mental notes about it.

"Okay, how about we work on this together, is that okay?" She looks back up from the paper.

"Ughh, I should be able to do this on my own" You groan. "No, no, some things are harder for different people and that's okay. Let's work on it together, okay?" She stands up and walks over to sit beside you.

She goes through it with you, making it easier for your mind to understand. She knows you have never been on good terms with being dyslexic. But she tries to take those thoughts from you with help. She has been since you opened up about it a couple years ago.

She helps you with making the first paragraph with the help of the outline, getting you into the groove of it. By half way through the third paragraph you've got the hang of it, knowing what is needed by the outline paper and Josie being there when you need help. Anything to do with English essays and assignments like that has never been your strong suit. But you try the best you can.

Josie has been a life saver for the past couple years and you couldn't be more grateful.

"Finally!" You say after finishing the conclusion paragraph. You raise your arms up, excitedly. "Thank you for helping" You look over to Josie.

"No problem. I'm always here if you need help" She hugs you.

[kiyomitakada]

many of my friends from other spaces (who were around for the actual death note mania back in the 2000s unlike me, a Youngster) have criticized death note for not going hard enough on the fact that the stuff light is doing wouldn't work. in manga canon the existence of kira has somehow stopped all the wars on the planet and the crime rate has dropped steeply when realistically that wouldn't. happen. at all. and i agree with them, i think this is part of why death note objectively really sucks

i do think it is interesting that death note chooses regardless to paint light as doing an unequivocally bad thing. hang on there's a better-phrased post like this let me go find it HERE. read that first

okay welcome back. death note says, if you killed someone and it genuinely decreased the amount of harm that spreads in the world (a question that obviously disregards the grief that person's relatives would have, the opportunity of rehabilitating them, the impossibility of knowing for sure that this would actually improve the world — just. death note does not deal with those things even though i think it should), that would still be a bad thing.

and like, i agree. but i think that death note and i don't agree on the why. most death note fans i've seen could write whole novels on how punitive justice doesn't work and disproportionally affects marginalized communities and so on and so forth; death note sort of just shrugs and says, murder is bad. which it is! but god that's a weak justification i can see why some of its fans started writing quora essays like "actually light was right the whole time and should have killed more people"

…actually you know what, here's what death note is doing: it is taking a magnifying glass to the justice system but only to the perpetrators. death note is a really good treatise on how power corrupts everyone, even when you think you'd do the right thing. (death note to me is a thinly veiled metaphor pro-gun control/anti-death penalty but that's a different post.) "whoever picks up this note will only ever lead a life of misery" "the true evil is the power to kill" "misa, i'm sorry, i should never have given you the notebook" etc etc etc. death note is screaming that having the power to kill will destroy you.

what death note is not good at is actually examining the effects of that power over the world at large. it just sort of says, i mean, murder is always bad innit. L and near and mello aren't trying to catch light because they truly believe kira is Wrong, they're just after him because what else are they supposed to do. you're just another murderer, near says. and the world goes back to status quo. and the police continue to rule the world in place of kira. and i mean sure the police have less power than Magical Killing Notebook but man. death note is so close to saying "tear down the existing justice system too" and never gets there and sometimes i want to strangle it.

[squints at post] is this even anything

[hikarielizabethbloom]

Hey, I just wanted to tell you that in my opinion, you have nothing to apologize for because you did nothing wrong but expressing your POV. I'm sorry I do it anonymously, it feels wrong because until now I was never afraid of voicing my opinions... but these days it feels like saying anything in relation with this subject could be taken as "taking a side", which is weird. It feels like, you know... cold war lol !

I've recently noticed a tendency to, instead of directly commenting an opinion x user disagrees with, opening another post to criticize the opinion in question. Is it fear to confront the person who said the 'controversial' opinion ? Is it a way to say "I have a different opinion but I won't discuss it ?" (which is fair, sometimes I want to say things I feel without having someone arguing with me over it). It's very passive agressive, and it makes a certain number of fellow fans very uncomfortable. That's what I gathered from the recent discussions I had in private, anyway.

It's just not within the Haladriel fandom, it's in the entire TROP fandom ! Some people don't dare to speak about Celeborn because they're scared that someone will react by posting an agressive take on him. Recently, there was a fight about Adar being a good guy or a bad guy, fans were mocked (again, never in the face but in parallel posts) because they thought that maybe Sauron could be healed with Nenya, etc. Myself I used to post quite frequently, now I just reblog stuff because I think that if I say something that will sound controversial, maybe my opinion will be attacked in another post ! even if my name is not mentioned I'll know it's about what I said. That's not what I call a safe environment.

I don't want to see Tumblr turn into Twitter and Reddit where people will fight and throw insults at each other over fiction, but I'm a bit worried regarding where this passive agressive attitude will lead the Haladriel fandom and even the TROP fandom at large, to be honest.

There's not a day where I don't dread to open the Haladriel/Saurondriel tags and find post opened by shippers who criticize how other shippers see their ships. We don't need the antis anymore, it seems, we seem to become very good at destroying ourselves. It makes me very sad because pre 2x08 and even a couple of weeks post 2x08, the Haladriel tags were filled mostly with positivity, good fun and awesome metas. Now I only see dick contests : "my opinion is better than yours." "No, mine is better than yours and you have no media literacy if you think differently !".

I'm sorry for weighing down with this, but it had to come out of my chest and I don't feel safe anymore saying all this on my blog.

Feel free to ignore this message if you just want to put it behind you, by the way, or if you feel it will make things worse... It's really not my intention to do more damages. Or if you want, just leave a post on your blog saying "I got your message" and anything you want to add, I'll be okay with that...

Thank you for reading me <3

I'm sorry anon you feel this way and I'm sorry you felt the need to stay anonymous to protect yourself. This isn't the inquisition. This is fandom space and you should feel safe enough to express your opinions without fear of taking side. Again, this isn't a war. There are no sides and no wrong takes, no matter what some fans believe.

And yes, I decided to speak up because after a couple of posts I've made, I started to notice posts from other Tumblr users that alluded to things I said. Even from a blog I had blocked. And it got me thinking. And it pissed me off a little.

I'm usually chill. Even when I don't agree with some takes, I don't feel the need to write a long ass essay on how the other's interpretation is bad while mine is progressive, feminist, smart, supported by canon, text, my best friend, my butcher... I just read the post, think 'meh, that's bs', scroll and go on with my life.

I know that for some people that's impossible. I know that some have this need for validation. But really, I can understand (sometimes, not always) this crave for queer relationships. But when the ship involves a hot white man (villain) and hot white woman (heroine), there's really not need for validation, right? History of television validates you.

And yes, things changed by the end of season 2. New waves of fans sadly always mean more assholes. And sometimes those assholes are popular. That's it. The only thing I can do is to call out this anti-fun/fan behavior and try to create a safer space.

So, I'm glad for your message. And if you are afraid to speak up I can do it for you. I've got broad shoulders and no desire to be popular 😂

[eddyiewriting]

Hi

Soooo, I guess I owe you all an explanation, huh?

I’ve been struggling with my mental health for about four years now. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been okay ever since I was a child. I’m not writing an essay about my life, but to summarize: loneliness, death, self-harm, etc. Lots of fun stuff.

Stories have always been an outlet for me to express myself. Sometimes I spent days without talking to anyone and found comfort in every type of story I could consume—books, movies, video games. I started writing stories when I was a kid, but I never shared them with anyone. The fear of being rejected, of being told I wasn’t good enough, was too overwhelming for me.

I wanted to feel like I was good at something. That I had a purpose. So, I never let anyone see my stories because that way they couldn’t tell me the opposite. I still wanted to show what I created to the world, but I never had the courage.

When I found out about COG, I finally mustered the strength to do that, and even that only came six years after I started reading the stories. When I first posted on the forum, I had a panic attack. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to pass out, and I nearly deleted the whole story. Seeing everyone’s reactions, though, was fantastic. That’s when I told myself, “See, you are good enough.”

As time went on, however, the doubts started to resurface. This has nothing to do with criticism. The feedback was nice and very helpful. I’m grateful for the people who took their time to read and help me improve.

The whole problem is me. I’ve been seeking treatment and trying to do better, but sometimes I still have that annoying voice in my head telling me to give up on everything.

I don’t want to give up. I gave up on so many things, and if I quit the only thing that makes me get out of bed, then I don’t know what to do next. However, I don’t believe I’m in the right mental state to keep myself focused on this at the moment. So, I’m not deleting the story, the topic, or my Tumblr. For now, I’m just taking some time away. Maybe one day I’ll be back, but for now, I need to rest.

Thank you all for your kindness.

Freddy has been keeping me company. He always does.

[toneelspeelster]

ethics of motherhood: the jane / charlie spring essay

ever since the release of the second season of heartstopper i've seen so many different opinions on jane spring as a parent; she's the absolute devil, overbearing, completely against understanding charlie and his relationship with nick etc. etc. but i would like to delve into why i think the way alice set up jane spring in s2 is a /great/ gateway into a deeper, nuanced storyline between jane and charlie because, quite honestly - it's clearly long overdue. once again, i'd like to use backstory from the comics to infer what might be happening to jane in the series and how, maybe a bit surprisingly to some - charlie is in some respects a lot more like her than you might think.

please note: this is not an apology, or an excuse to jane's behaviour as a mother to charlie; i just want to give her actions a context and i think, show the room for growth which I think would be a beautiful, very nuanced, storyline between parent and child to take on in charlie's mental health story in s3/4.

(tw for parental abuse, discussion of eating disorder)

one thing that really informs jane spring as a character and as a mother in general is her own mother. we see in the comics that her mother is a. physically abusive and b. does not allow jane to have any criticism against her and uses that as a reason for the abuse.

jane later tells charlie the following on her relationship with her mother, acknowledging the effect that her mother had on her - to an extent. she softens the things that happened to her.

jane knows this of her being a mother: she's overbearing, her mother was too, and she was also hoping to be very different to what her mother was to her.

now what i think is a vital thing to consider is the following: jane grew up in a household where she was physically and emotionally unsafe. she was hit for expressing normal teenage behaviour. it should be okay to sometimes not agree with your parents and pushing back at them. they should provide you with a safe method of communication for doing so but they never taught jane that. as a result, i think it's a very human response of people to try and make sure they deal with things differently when they get older; but that also can result in overcompensating behaviour.

my feeling is that jane is overly focused, i think unconsciously, on keeping in particular charlie safe, and in that sometimes loses sight on making him feel actually (emotionally) safe. because safe means to jane: performing well in school, not doing anything that might be dangerous, but also: keep in line with expected social behaviour. what is the safest thing, jane thinks? that your behaviour is perfect. because if you don't give others any reason to think you're being out of order (in whatever way), you will not get abuse. safe is being perfect, doing everything perfectly. you can and should control your life in such a way that it will be possible for things to be perfect.

and guess who feels that way too?

kids learn a lot more from their parents than they would think (or even like).

one of the most interesting changes from novel to tv series i think, is the change of having jane not being immediately supportive of nick from the get go; as it fits in quite well with jane's character trait of being focused on charlie's safety (and by extension julio's character, but he goes about this differently and quite honestly... can be quite of a wet wipe lol) and exercising control over his behaviour to make him safe in her own eyes. she wants him to be socially presentable ("please change out of your pyjamas to meet guests"), to focus on school work, and for him to listen to her when she says he needs to come home; in a sense i think she wants to be aware of where charlie is at a given time and not too stay out too late, because the night? that might be dangerous.

we have to remember that charlie was severely bullied only a year ago, and julio's constant reminders of charlie in s1 of please calling him when the situation gets out of hand with nick's circle of "friends", indicates to me that his parents were aware of the bullying, maybe being informed by ajayi bc i don't see charlie being able to tell that to his parents himself. so: nick's "sort" (tao mentions his circle as "exactly the sort of people who bullied [charlie]") are in jane's eyes boys to be weary of.

so when charlie tells his parents, jane doesn't totally trust it.

this is worsened when it turns out nick is also going on the paris trip. for charlie, that's not the only reason to on the trip at all, but the way the conversation goes with julio's comment that's the reason why he wants to go, this is where nick gets associated in her mind with charlie as something that she needs to be aware of and perhaps even intervene. to make sure he's safe. she needs to control the situation if it goes wrong.

which she does. almost immediately. when charlie shows behaviour out of the ordinary for him and the only cause she sees is nick; he's the new factor in all of this.

it's like she thinks if she doesn't completely nip this behaviour in the bud in a very hard way, all the bad things imaginable will come immediately. like charlie would flunk school within a few weeks. charlie, who's been a high achiever! julio's response is actually quite appropriate, i personally think: it's not a wonder that you're unfocused bc you have been spending time a lot (which we've seen! on screen!) but also i don't want ban you from seeing him completely, just set some boundaries.

interestingly enough, this is also due to charlie overly focusing his efforts on keeping nick essentially perfectly safe in his coming out as well; unfortunately, in that final scene shown above, he's just realised that he's got no control over nick's coming outs being perfect, as david has shown to be very biphobic and dismissive of nick in a way that neither nick or charlie had any say in or could even prevent from happening. jane has the option of trying to control things because she's his mother and has some authority over his life.

jane disappears in the show after this issue of charlie handing in his course work gets resolved for a while, so it does seem like she very much keeps to her word afterwards.

she comes back in time for some growth. tori rightly mentions that the family dinner is not something that their mum would totally enjoy bc tori has seen the criticism jane has regarding nick. but charlie does know nick, feels emotionally safe with him, especially after their convo in the louvre and nick being open about his dad, so charlie is right in saying nick, as a person not the idea that jane has of him by association, might convince her.

and he does.

nick can be trusted; nick has come out to his neglectful parent, chastised his older brother for being an asshole, mentions he feels happy with his life with charlie and living openly as his boyfriend and apologises to his mother for ruining the dinner (a sign of a well mannered boy!). and when sarah tells jane that this is something that she's never seen nick do and that must be of nick's deep care for charlie, jane thinks..

and comes around (a bit).

unfortunately, her overt focus on charlie's grades slipping being due to nick's influence in his life completely makes her neglect the signs that charlie is not eating well (that's something that is building up so gradually that i don't think she sees it as an option). there are some great metas on here by @ finnicksannie regarding this being one of the biggest reasons why charlie's grades are actually slipping.

all in all, i just want to close by saying this is a deeply traumatised mother parenting a deeply traumatised son and they both need time and therapy for a better understanding of the communication between them.

and i think the end of season 2 sets up a nice storyline about that quite nicely. jane accepts nick in their circle, but her communication with charlie has not been resolved; it's just a little tick towards her needing to trust charlie more. he's got good instincts. she's starting to realise.

this is all not an excuse. it's a set up for a responsibility on jane's part to work to communicate with charlie better. but life is life. and we're humans. sometimes we need to learn to grow.

and in the mean time, in the small moments, maybe with what you would say is the bare minimum, with not agreeing with charlie's self deprecation, jane does show her love of her son.

i don't think it's without reason that this was shown.

--

i have not read the novel solitaire / nick & charlie / this winter. feel free to add in comments if there's something in there too! but i do feel the series might incorporate jane's storyline maybe a little bit differently than from in the books; but it sounds like her controlling behaviour is a throughline to it all.

[maxrspeaks]

Personally here’s what i think about the whole situation with stem gojo au. I think i could barely see the growth that he’s had from the start since he hasn’t apologized or even acknowledged the harm he caused the reader yet, and these favors that he’s doing now like using his connections and money for the reader aren’t indications of growth, i think they are damage control that he himself caused in the first place. Even then, i think it’s still about him trying to fix things on his own terms without addressing the emotional damage he caused. I think true growth means directly confronting what you did wrong, and acknowledging the pain it caused and making amends in a way that shows just how much you understand the damage you caused.

Also, while he didn’t control the rest of the crowd, he was the one who set the things in motion and initiated this whole domino effect, and never even considered the impact of his actions until the damage was done. In short he was the one who created and even encouraged an environment where the crowd could easily disrespect the reader. The humiliation and pain he directly or indirectly caused the reader aren’t things you can just magically erase by a few good deeds. Sure, he’s being stupid and there’s a potential for change in the future. But personally, even if I could forgive him I don’t think i could be with anyone who crushed my dreams and shattered my confidence all because someone who claimed to like you thought it would be “funny”. He may not have foreseen the whole consequences of his actions but he was the one who set them in motion and is the reason why the reader is having such a hard time. Blaming isn’t just about intention, but it is also about impact. If people are blaming him heavily that’s cause he truly deserves it. This is just my take.

Btw sorry for this essay, I just love love stories like this wherein the situation is so complicated and we all have different takes regarding it, and here is just my opinion. Love yous smaus so much! 💞💞💞

okay first of all don’t apologise‼️‼️‼️

i absolutely love seeing different reactions/interpretations to any story, even if they’re negative or critical of something. It makes the story seem more dynamic in a way.

Now moving on to your point. I’m very happy to see that a lot of you guys notice Gojo’s lack of accountability (atleast vocally) with regards to the situation. Sure, it might have been a chance occurrence but it still stripped the reader off a lot of things she single handedly strived to achieve. It is 100% damage control but i would like to specify that i intended to write the last part as something that basically brings back the readers life on track. Propels her to backtrack onto things she had to give up on because of Gojo’s insistence. It is not meant to be a chapter that redeems him in any way and i’m happy you’re unsatisfied on Gojo’s end with the last chapter because it gives me a chance to really build up on both of them!!!🗣️🗣️🩷🩷

[helmarok]

(descends into your inbox like the Lord ) hello brother … would love to know your favorite scenes / moments youve made in your brain for your interps of the mcsm gang . they are like specimens to me …

OMGGGGG this essay is gonna be crazy

i have many favorite scenes so ill give you 3 i havent drawn yet

1. the lukas and aiden fight

in my au, lukas and the blazerods are siblings raised by lukas' grandma. aiden and maya+gill are adopted (maya and gill being biological siblings). while maya and gill appreciated the life they had, aiden was always on a mission to get the most attention and be the "favorite", especially with lukas. he would snitch on lukas for sneaking out to help petra and only do chores to get praise. everything was a competition to him, he had to be the favorite. i could go further into the background of all this but i still have to tell you about 2 other scenes so ill have to cut it short. anyways, aiden still hates jesse ofc. its just most of the episode is centered around lukas because he doesnt get time to shine like petra does for a whole season lol. but yeah the reason aiden hates jesse so much after the witherstorm (before that he just hated jesse for being a loser) is because jesse, loser that he hates, now had all the attention on them, and aiden can't stand to see someone else in the spotlight! especially if that someone else is jesse. and *especially* if that someone else is his brother he's always had this one sided rivalry with.

because this episode is focused on lukas and aiden's relationship, the two of them fight eachother before jesse is able to make it back into the throne room. and lukas can win a brawl but hes not very good with swords, which aiden had. so he gets knocked to the ground, and aiden holds his sword pointed at lukas' throat, and tells him he's always been a spoiled brat and a coward, he never deserved to be a hero, and starts laughing at him and saying all he can do is freeze up like a deer when hes scared (which despite aiden not knowing this, makes lukas feel guilty about freezing at the nether portal again). and at this point, aiden is so off the rails with jealousy that lukas is thinking "is my brother actually gonna kill me right now?" and then jesse barges in and sees lukas with a sword at his throat and charges towards aiden, and their fight happens. i want to draw this scene so bad but i hate drawing 😭

2. recovery after the pama battle

i added a recovery period after pama, because people died and jesse almost did and petra almost did and lukas still wasnt doing too good either. erm basically in their battle petra fractured jesse's ribs, broke his arm, broke his nose, smashed his face into glass, he had adrenaline dragging him through but as soon as petra woke up and was okay he was out. but most importantly this recovery period is ivor's "redemption" and how he learns more about harper.

as the alchemist, ivor has been the "healer" of the party throughout the portal arc, though always reluctantly. someone would break their arm and he'd be all mad about having to use a potion to speed the healing process, and complain about how "you fools are wasting my precious resources on your petty injuries" (he had plenty of potions.) but after the pama shit, jesse almost dies, and because ivor has grown to care about them whether he likes it or not, he actually rushes to help them... he refuses to call them "friends", but these 3 fools are all he really has. ivor prioritizes helping jesse and petra, but harper asks for help too. her people were in even worse condition after being chipped for so long. the first people to get chipped 15 years ago actually ended up dying, and so did many others who were chipped for around 10 years. survivors were in critical condition. so ivor, who doesnt care about anyone, is asked for help. and because he sees himself in harper, he does... he gets harper to find him ingredients and he brews a giant pot of regeneration II, which he has all the survivors in town take a shot from. it's not enough to heal them completely, but it's enough to heal them so they are no longer on the verge of death. its kind of like the turning point of his character. he's still an old grouch of course but a slightly less selfish one. and no matter how hard he tries to push away any guilt, he still deep down feels like he owes something for all the lives he destroyed with the witherstorm.

3. jack and petra talk

i really like their dynamic... that's her dad man... so i wanted them to have a serious talk at some point in the underneath. while on the road to the oasis, the party takes breaks to rest. xara goes out to hunt, so jack volunteers to take watch while everyone sleeps and petra offers to with him. he asks her why and tells her she needs to get her rest, but petra says she cant sleep. they sit in silence until jack finally asks her if she's doing okay. petra says she should be asking this of him, cause he's been the one fucked over by romeo the most. but jack is genuinely concerned, cause he's noticed petra is a more jumpy than usual and been talking less, even to jesse. she's kept to herself since the incident in the sunshine institute. jack starts to ask her about being romeo's champion, what happened, what did he do. and petra doesnt want to talk about it at first, but jack gets her to trust him as a fellow tough guy who doesnt like looking vulnerable. so she tells him all about how romeo made her relive things from the past, would fight her as people she cared about, and showed her friends talking about her behind her back, the things they said about her. (none of which was true- again, just mind games to get petra to side with him) she told jack about something jesse supposedly said to him, but jack told her they didnt say that... whether she wants to believe him or not, it was true. so she starts to doubt what romeo showed her, though not completely.

they talk some more, and jack is the first person who petra tells that she's decided, if they make it through this alive, she's leaving beacontown. but she tells him she doesnt want to leave without jesse cause they mean a lot to her but doesnt know if they feel the same, or even if they do if they'd be willing to leave beacontown just for her. and it's jack who convinces her to talk to jesse and tell them how she feels. cause jack doesnt tell her this but he knows jesse loves her and would gladly go if asked, petra just doesn't see it since she's too caught up worrying if jesse even wants to be her friend anymore

literally starving writing this im gonna get a sandwich now lol

[jmagnabo92]

What do you think of Molly and Hermione’s views or whatever you’d call it of Sirius during The Order of the Phoenix?

This is going to very critical of BOTH Molly and Hermione. Don't come at me if you don't like it, but feel free to politely discuss.

I am not a fan and think they're both being rather shitty and entitled for a number of reasons, different on both sides.

For Molly, while I understand how she spent however many years thinking of Sirius as a mass-murderer that lead to his BFFs demise (and we truthfully don't know how many years because at one point, it's stated that most people didn't know about his part in what happened to the Potters - but it came from Fudge and he's stupid, so...), we also know that she was told that Sirius was *innocent* of *everything*.

And I would be totally okay with her having issues wrapping her mind around it, EXCEPT she has *no issues* accepting Dumbledore's words when it comes to Snape despite his outward terrible recent behavior towards the kids, order members, and others, so it makes it *terribly shitty* to insist on treating *Snape, the active DE (even if he's a 'spy')* with respect because 'Dumbledore said he's on our side now' when he's acted like a shithead to the kids *for years* and continues to do so, but NOT TREAT THE INNOCENT MAN WHO HAS HELPED THE KIDS with things and who lost YEARS of his life to prison with the same decency and respect is shitty as hell.

And then, to make matters worse, she's only known Sirius for about a month (probably less) when she's living in HIS HOUSE - where he's PROTECTING HER ENTIRE FAMILY, and she's tearing him apart because he was at least emotionally abused (the Portrait of his mother is ENOUGH for her to know that he would struggle in that house) despite his efforts to support Harry and the Order and her family in this hot mess they find themselves in.

Despite knowing that he has very valid reasons for struggling - she talks down to him and about him, in front of him and his godson, undermining him when he was the ONLY ADULT to help Harry through the tasks, even though she was better equipped to help him and *didn't*.

With all of this in mind, I think it's shitty and entitled that she treats him and speaks about him the way she does. She never got to know him, she knows very little aside from a reputation that she knows is *false* and it's shitty as hell to judge him and not even TRY to make things easier on him. She's an adult that should be able to have some *fucking* compassion and just *doesn't* and it's shitty.

Fuck that was an essay. I have thoughts. And it's not even got references like my POA post.

Now onto Hermione:

So, Hermione was *there* the night that Harry met Sirius. She knows multiple things about him prior to OOTP, things like:

He offered Harry a home

He is fucking innocent of everything - proof with Her Own Damn Eyes that everything she knew was a lie and he's truly a good dude

He went to check on Harry and was watching out for him all of third year

Crookshanks Trusted him and So does Buckbeak (aka animals' good judgement of character)

He immediately reached out to Harry with the letter assuring him multiple things - like the fact that he gave the broom, that he watched out for him, that he wanted to protect Harry by getting himself seen so the Dementors would go away, and that he knows what's best for Harry ... giving him the Hogsmeade Slip, and a way to deal with the Dursleys (the threat of him was enough that that summer allowed him to do his homework and write his friends).

He wrote to Harry and offered advice when Harry expressed worry over *just a dream*.

He gave up his blissful freedom to 'fly North immediately' and supported Harry by LIVING in a Cave and Eating rats throughout the tournament when NO OTHER ADULT DID.

He was trustworthy enough to give them advice on other past war things and the dealings at Hogwarts while he did this. She even insisted Harry tell him things to get his advice.

That he has a good measure on things despite his imprisonment and whatnot.

That he thinks the measure of a man can be made by looking at treatment of his inferiors.

This last point is what I think turned her against him. She knows and understand enough (despite not being empathetic at times) to get why Sirius is the way he is in those few short weeks when her attitude changed. The ONLY reason I could see her completely disregarding her previous understanding of Sirius and his goodness and trustworthiness is because of Kreacher.

Hermione's stuck on the House-Elf thing and in fact, was thrilled when Sirius sided with her over Ron during the whole Winky/Crouch thing. And even though Sirius NEVER orders Kreacher to do anything other than leave his guests alone (and keep Order secrets) the fact that he has issues with Kreacher and isn't "Nice" to him is enough for her to change her view of him.

She thinks about that "measure of a man" statement from Sirius himself, and says, "you know what - you're right, you suck" - completely ignoring the legitimate reasons for Sirius' feelings and behavior towards Kreacher and the fact that he literally just wants to be left alone.

She adds that to Molly's words, and his increasingly depressive behavior and decides he's no good after all.

ALL of this factors into my view of her behavior, but I still think it's shitty. It's shitty that she, too, defends Snape (after the BS she's been a target of, not to mentioned witnessed for ALL FOUR YEARS OF SCHOOL, so far) and yet, immediately turns on Sirius.

It's shitty that she lives in HIS HOUSE and is talking crap to his godson - not just to Sirius, but Harry as well. How the fuck, do you look at your BFF and say 'oh the godfather you love so much - he's not trustworthy' never mind that he was the ONLY one there for you last year and he's all you have. It's shitty and uncalled for.

I, specifically, hate that she pretty much cons Harry into doing the DA and then Sirius is on board (for the right reasons) and backtracks because of this terrible and untrue idea that "Sirius is trying to live through them".

Hermione is not a voice for Sirius, she doesn't know shit about him, she doesn't write him or talk to him, and she barely spends any time with him. So like... where does she get off?

Anyway, this is long, but suffice to Say, I DON'T like their thoughts. I think they're 100% wrong and even though they can feel or think whatever they want about Sirius, it's rude as hell to say it to him or to Harry, AND to feel that way when he provided you a fucking shelter so you were safe for a year.

This was a fucking Essay, I apologize, I hope you like it.

[tothevines]

sooooooo I am now officially writing a jam fic (lmao) and I said to Holly earlier how maybe posting jam fic is what I need to break the seal and start posting my other fic. because I have two fics that are both like...a week's worth of solid daily editing away from being postable. (maybe two weeks. lol.)

so I've just been thinking about why I never do it...why don't I just buckle down and do the editing and post them. and obviously there is the mental hurdle of baring my soul and letting other people read something I've written, which I don't really do anymore. I used to have such thick skin--I've survived some incredibly toxic writing workshops (including one in which the fucking professor was the most toxic person in the workshop). I could handle People with Opinions About My Writing...but I don't know that I can anymore. and fanfiction is honestly a whole different beast. it's baring my soul in such a different way, one where I could easily Do It Wrong (e.g. with characterization), and that's terrifying.

but also...I'm realizing that part of the issue is that I simply have too many hobbies lmao. every evening/weekend, I'm faced with free time and I get overwhelmed because there are so many things i could do with it: work on my fic! work on my non-fanfic writing! catch up on my shows! read a book! play any of the six video games that I've only played half of! embroider! cross-stitch! make gifs! go for a hike! learn that new skill I've been wanting to learn (lately it's visible mending)! watch a two-hour video essay about an influencer I've never heard of! repot that aloe that's gotten too big for its container! deep clean my bathroom! (cleaning counts as a hobby okay 😤)

but ANYWAY...there are so many choices. I just like a lot of stuff. but often I end up doing none of these and feeling like absolute shit because I've wasted hours doomscrolling when I could have been doing something fulfilling (but that's a whole separate issue...).

but this week I haven't had any proper free time because I just moved. so every day has just been: get home from work > unpack boxes > eat dinner > unpack more boxes > go to bed. but my brain is rotating the blorbos like rotisserie chickens the entire time, and I really want to write, but I just don't have the time for it.

but then I get irritated with myself because - why am I acting like being busy is the reason I'm not writing? I don't write nearly as often as I'd like to, even when I do have the time for it. so why do I avoid it when I DO actually have the time???

and I think I just have so many hobbies that I will use them as an excuse to not write. if I'm always doing something else (or avoiding doing anything via doomscrolling), I can't write, so I can't ever post my fic, and I won't open myself up to criticism or being perceived.

I've felt so ashamed about not finishing/posting my fic for years at this point, but sitting here at work and word-vomiting all these thoughts into tumblr dot com actually feels like I'm having a little breakthrough about it. I don't know that having said breakthrough will actually make me change my behavior, but it's a good place to start!!!

it's really helpful for me to understand that I don't shy away from writing because I Am Bad and A Fraud but rather because all my other hobbies are so much less emotionally fraught--I don't have a bunch of fear and anxiety around all my other little activities like I do with writing. (not to mention how I have based a large part of my identity on ~being a writer~ for so much of my life and how hard THAT can make writing. for reasons that I cannot get into now but I'm sure y'all get it).

but anyway. I don't have a real conclusion here besides that I hope working this out will help me spend more time on writing and less time using my other interests to avoid writing. and maybe I will be able to tell when I want to do something because I actually have the desire to do it versus when I want to do something because it seems easier/less emotionally complicated than writing.

also maybe working on rpf is helpful because I don't know if I would ever post it anyway, so it's lower stakes??? if I do end up finishing a jam fic before I finish either of my queliot fics that will be so fucking funny though💀

[silvershadow1711]

I miss having fandom friends.

I never really thought about how lonely creating things for a fandom is until recently. I think part of the reason I created so much stuff for Fire Emblem- fan art, fanfics, blog posts, long-ass essays on the FE amino- was because, for the first time in my life, I had other people to interact with who were just as not normal about my obsession as me. I participated in community events, I did art exchanges and RPs, and it was amazing. And I think the reason I was able to throw myself into the Fire Emblem fandom so readily was the simple fact that nobody hates Fire Emblem like Fire Emblem fans. Because for all the love I have for the series, I have gripes as well- many, many, MANY gripes- and the wonderful thing is... so does every other FE fan. There are few things Fire Emblem fans love more than complaining about, discecting, and taking the piss out of Fire Emblem.

I found something similar to that in the Titanfolk subreddit. I had debates- civil, well-thought out and articulated debates- that went on for paragraphs with the people there. I wasn't shouted down and disparaged for disliking parts of the narrative- it was acknowledged that you could dislike entire arcs and whole-ass characters while still liking the series as a whole. Critical thought and critique was encouraged, and while I didn't agree with every opinion people had (not even the popular ones... especially not the popular ones), I enjoyed seeing people lay their thoughts and feelings bare. It was wonderful... and then the genocide apologia got too intense to ignore and I had to decontaminate myself and get the fuck away from there.

All of my best writing and art was done while I was actively engaged with communities, complaining about things I didn't like and channeling that discontent into creative endevors. I thrive on what most people would consider "negativity", but like... if I'm complaining for an hour about a single chapter in a story that has over 100 chapters, that is coming from a place of pure love. I don't put that much thought into things I hate, or even things I just like okay.

I miss having friends who were on that same wavelength. People who understood that "gushing" and "bitching" are two sides of the same coin and should be done in tandem.

[billyboyblue]

Hi, hello.

You've made the mistake to use tags and I read tags and now I'm here

I'm asking questions. What are we thinking? How unwell do we feel when we see this shooting (personally pretty unwell but it hurts so good)? Prayer circle? Manifesting ritual? What will it be?

You know that Pete Holmes skit that's like, I don't wanna fuck him. That's not enough. That's only a little piece of me inside him. I want to get all up in there and wear him like a puppet. That's how I feel about this man but in a scale that covers everything.

It's about his commitment to be really good at his job and his way of constantly improving and learning and implementing his skills in new and interesting ways. It's his openness to criticism and self awareness that he lives a ridiculous life and uses that absurdity to push past the limits in creativity the comfort of practice and success can make. Stagnation is an antithesis of art and what I've never been, with Jake's work, is bored. He's wonderfully exploratory with roles without seeming like its stunt pieces meant to draw attention for attention's sake.

He's doing Othello with Denzel Washington, who is in my opinion the single greatest actor we've ever seen, bar none go talk to your mama about it, and that's like i think going to be his lifetime performance for himself. To do Shakespeare, contrary to popular belief, is insanity when it comes to performing it well. There's entire universities dedicated to nothing but Shakespeare so to have that under his belt is going to be incredible. He's not afraid of playing a spectrum of characters, and he doesn't mind commiting body and soul to his work.

This quote from the interview today made me all gushy because it's such a small insignificant thing but it's so insightful and about my husband Billy. Fuck me up, this can't keep hitting me over and over again. Billlllly!! Baby it's okay!! Oh God.

-"He has used his blindness sometimes to help him as an actor — when he was shooting a difficult scene in the 2015 boxing movie Southpaw, one in which police tell his character that his wife has died, Gyllenhaal removed his contacts to force himself to listen more closely."

I'll suggest some of my favorite essays on his movies!

Analyzing Evil: Lou Bloom || The Vile Eye

Nightcrawler || Spikima Movies

What makes nightcrawler's Lou Bloom so terrifying? || Nerdstalgic

Why Jake Gyllenhaal is the Bravest Actor of Our Generation || Du Cinema

Jake Gyllenhaal and the Elusive Oscar || The Awards Contender

Now the last two are a little dramatic on the titles but overall they give a great peak into his career and do his justice. This kind of reputation isn't just handed out, the only other Oscar nominees of this caliber without a win were like Leonardo DiCaprio and Amy Adams. It's huge. But I'll definitely keep singing his works' praise. His fandom is so committed and that's what makes it fun. I'm so new here I still find bits and pieces in every movie that others have found and talked about and gushed over but I'm gonna say it again! Lolol.

And if you're looking for a wonderful lil video on our king Denzel, Our Greatest Living Movie Star || Scene it is the one. Thanks so much for enabling me 😘🫴💕.

[commajade]

okay i turned off reblogs on both of those posts. multiple people felt that what i said was inappropriate and i care about that. i left them up so there is still evidence of what i said, please let me know if i should delete them.

i am very sorry that i misspoke and made inappropriate generalizations. i said things that unintentionally aligned with racist patterns in internet rhetoric and was not aware and responsible enough to word things better. i will continue to learn from this experience and i will put a lot more care in how i speak moving forward. i will also work to be be more aware of when it is best not to speak.

i do not want anyone who reads these posts and agrees with me to try to defend me or speak to other people on my behalf.

i have not sent any anonymous messages. i was not aware that my posts were being criticized until a couple hours before this post was originally posted and have been editing it as i understand the situation better. i accept the criticism of my words and how i have allowed other people's harmful behavior on my behalf.

i apologize for the length of this post but i am simply trying to clarify and i think that speaking more makes things more clear.

to clarify the post about shinee:

i am not defending taemin and key and i think what they said is shocking, disgusting, and hurtful. i did not mean to make it seem like a long essay defending them. i am not saying that they couldn't help it or that people shouldn't criticize them. they should criticize them, it was awful.

i made the post because i thought it would be irresponsible not to address it when i have publicly liked them on this blog for a long time and a lot of people follow me for posts about them. i see that i should have been more careful about how i talk about things and the post may not have been necessary in the first place.

i specifically mention antiblackness because it is the specific racial dynamic that global society today is structured around. every aspect of racism is related to it because of the history of empire and how it shapes race as we know it. colorism was present before modern concepts of race but it is perpetuated as a pillar of white supremacy to support antiblackness. however it does not target me directly and i should have a lot more care about how i talk about it, as well as knowing when to not speak at all.

i didn't make clear the connection i was drawing between shinee being more open and honest with their colorist comments. i didn't mean that their true selves are hateful and colorist. i mentioned that only because i have been posting about this pattern in their professional behavior before and it was a continuity with other posts i have made about taemin and key that are complimentary. i did not mean for people who do not follow me to see the post so i should not have allowed the post to be reblogged.

i meant that korea is deeply colorist because of historical and political reasons and colorism is the norm because we live in a racist society. and that recently focusing career-wise on having more candid moments reveals more easily the ways in which racism is normalized and manifests in people's unchallenged habits and behaviors. they should never have said that and the editors should never have left it in, but colorism is normalized in korean society because of historical and political factors.

in my ask response, i said that all people are racist. i take back the statement and edited the original version of the post. i meant that racism is the ordering logic of global society today because of white supremacy and empire. every person is shaped and affected by it. i did not mean that every person is hateful and violent. when i say ideologically indoctrinated, i mean unconscious conditioning throughout life because society is structured around racism, not that people who are conditioned to be racist should be sympathized with and exempt from consequences because of that. because of the context of the post it was asking about, it was not appropriate to generalize because the people who did harmful racist actions in this context are korean and i am also korean.

every racist action should be met with consequences. public actions should be met with public criticism. there are degrees of harm that people do to others with their actions that are shaped by racism. what taemin and key did was very harmful and should be criticized. i spoke in a way that was an inappropriate response to what was happening and was criticized.

i added this to the ask: it only takes a little thought, experience, and empathy to know to not be actively colorist and racist. it is normalized in society to be colorist because it is a part of racism. what i meant is that everyone is shaped and affected by racism. people are not born racist, being a racist is not a thing you are and can't help being. saying and doing racist things is an active choice that no one should make regardless of their background. people should always be fully criticized for these actions. i should have been more careful about my wording and i will continue to think about why i have been understood in a certain way.

i did not mean to encourage non action and say that they can't help being racist. i know that people do speak this way and i made the mistake of speaking in a way that could align with that kind of rhetoric.

again i apologize for speaking in a way that was not appropriate considering the larger conversation about what happened. i apologize for the actions of anyone who thought they were speaking on my behalf. and also for the length of this post, i don't know how else to get this across. no one has to accept my apologies and i am not expecting that, but it is important to me to apologize here as thoroughly as i can.

please let me know if i should clarify other aspects of what i said or if i should take other actions.

[mr-aftons-rotting-pussy]

ok but actually. i know i said this in the tags on ur post but genuinely i love ur faggy infinites i love ur attitude i love how u post whatever u want and put it in the main tags bc u are unapologetically urself when it is so easy to try and fit in. u have the confidence i aim to have for myself and it's so refreshing to see somebody who embraces being Weird <3 i've never engaged because i am unwell about people being aware of me but i've literally been lurking on you and the dog and hog gang for at least a year (i never really spoke much about liking them despite having interest for years) and. just. you're all so chill. the critical thinking, lack of judgement, this world needs more of that shit fr!! i hope u have a great day – good vibes from a transfag autism brained freak (and thank u for ur tags on my essay. i'm so glad other people care as much as me <3)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I IWISJ I COULS ANSWER TJIS AND KEEP TJIS IM ,MY IMBOX FOREVER RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO GLAD U LOVE MY BOYSSSSSSS<33333 RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i usually try n segment my replys to address every beat but this is so much........ to my liddle tiny heaet........ im ,iteralkly cyinf rnn can you tell????? UIVTBJVJBJVBKJ. this means. the world to me<33333 im glad<33 im glad i can inspire some of that in u<3 like for the longest time i was literally larping as one of the normies :sob: like i get it 100% the want 2 fit in and b accepted esp in fandom is strong but in my case it is utterlly unsustainable 2 follow the crowd. i cant pretend i dont like what i like. i cant pretend to be normal r have normal relationships 2 things r have normal opinions jnkjjkjbjk. and its hard!!!!!! there rlly isnt a real tangible space to be fucking insane and into weird n gross shit n etc in fandom like there is for the sanitized kiddy friendly stuff or the hyper horny stuff, its an awkward middle line 2 tread.(n im wayy too autistic 4 fandom anyways.... lol) and ik im not the only one. i wouldnt b able 2 be so unabashed and real and freaky w/o the support of all the amazing ppl ive met in my little freak circle<3333(IT IS SOOOOOO cheesey n cringe-sounding but im being so fr when i say my weirdoes n infinite the jackal saved my life<3333333333 i literally probably wouldnt even b alive today w/o em<333 thanks 2 all of u for helping me grow stronger btw hehe....)

Every day i choose to be insane and gross and a freak and a transexual faggot and autistic and TOO MUCH !!! for meself obv<3 but also for the ones i love and ppl like YOU!!!!!!!!!! >:D i cant change the world w just my little paws. but i CAN b crazy on main. i CAN show everyone that you dont have 2 be afraid of your own interests for fear of not being accepted in the greater fandom<333 even if these ppl never rlly come out of their shell... theres always someone, someplace out there thatll accept u. theres always more freaks, theres always more faggots<3 even if you never come out and yell it to the world if i could inspire just a tiny bit of this love in ppl thatd be enough for me :)

anyways. lol. kjnobjbiubjk thank you<33 a lot<3333 i mean it<333333 so many words i wish to say in this moment but ik you get it<3 mwamwa<333333333

life is short babey!!! dont be such a stranger okay ^_^